Written by: Heather Hunter, Director of Marketing, Synergize
Let’s face it: Making friends can be hard. Making friends in the professional space, where we’re all pressured to act… well, professional – is even harder.
Synergize builds real friendships between professionals. Our members belong to a safe community where they can connect based on a basic desire for authentic relationships, instead of sticking with what they do.
Some people find that creating these deep connections is easy. But for our more guarded members, it can still be difficult. If that’s you, or if you’re a new member (especially a new Movement Member), keep reading – this is for you!
Why is this especially important for new Movement Members? Our Legacy Members are a close-knit family of professionals. They schedule regular meetings with our Chief Relationship Officer, Arron Stanton, specifically so he can build and check in on their close relationships in Synergize. These meetings help our Legacy Members build a “power group” of 3-5 (or more) deep Synergize relationships that help them boost their impact on the world.
By contrast, our Movement Members’ relationships are almost always self-guided. Each of them has the responsibility to seek out members they’d like to meet. At events as crowded as the 4:30 Meetup, that can sometimes be daunting – especially for new members!
That’s why we created this guide: to help you build deeper relationships with the people you meet at Synergize events.
Over the past few months, we’ve watched how some of our deeply involved members have built close relationships with each other. And we discovered something interesting: although all Synergize friendships look different, the process of creating them is almost always the same.
Of course, there’s no perfect formula for making friends. Remember, these are just guidelines – you should take natural cues from your relationships and create your OWN version of this method, not follow it to the letter.
I know you’re thinking “okay, get to the content already” – SO, without further ado… here is your guide to building a deep friendship with any super-cool new person you’ve just met at a Synergize event!
- Take the time to go deeper during the event.
At a lot of networking events, the quantity of connections you make matters most. But if you want to build the deep friendships all of our members value, the number of people you meet doesn’t matter nearly as much as the quality of your conversations with them.
Instead of connecting with as many attendees as possible, try to spend a while chatting with just a handful of different people – maybe even as few as 2 or 3. If you’re used to networking for dozens of leads, that may sound ridiculous. But a 4:30 Meetup isn’t the type of event that force-feeds you a dozen lukewarm prospects. We build authentic friendship, and that takes time.
If you don’t allow the pressure of the clock to creep in, it’ll show up in your conversation. You’ll be able to really dive into this person’s heart, what your relationship with them could look like, and the ripples of impact you can create in the world together. (And if you’re at a Synergize event, we can guarantee that they’re excited to be on that journey with you.)
Pro Tip: Not sure how to move from small talk to the deep stuff? Try asking one of our Legacy Questions – they’re Team Synergize’s go-to conversation starters. And if you find someone you like, set up a meeting while you’re both still at the event! It’s a lot easier than emailing back and forth on the day after.
- Hang out one-on-one (or two!) and swap stories.
We’re big on sharing our stories in Synergize. That doesn’t mean the highlights of your career. It means the lowlights, too – plus passions, motivations, current struggles, life goals, and pivotal moments. (It can also include business if that ends up making sense for the relationship.) One-on-one meetings are where most of our members start to grow truly fruitful connections.
A one-on-one hangout can look like a coffee meeting, a lunch, drinks after work, a midday dog-walk on the Monon trail – really, anything you want! The possibilities are endless, so get as creative as you’d like.
Most importantly, don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from moving to this step. Remember: People at Synergize meetups are there specifically to make connections like this, with awesome people like you! No matter what our titles are, we care about who you are – not whatever imaginary measuring stick you’re using to rate yourself. We all want to be your friends!
Pro tip: If for any reason you feel awkward hanging out one-on-one with a new friend, invite another friend from within OR outside Synergize! Our more introverted members find that three-person hangouts are lower-pressure and a lot of fun.
- Intentionally invite that person deeper into your life.
The coolest thing about sharing your story with someone? It invites them to start building the future of it with you. We refer to this as “doing life together” in Synergize, and it happens when you can be fully authentic about your past, present, and future with the people around you.
Close relationships rely on consistency, kindness, and vulnerability. Prioritizing these is important to move from a one-on-one meeting to a deeper friendship. Because of Synergize’s No-Jerk policy, you’ll find kindness and vulnerability in every member you meet. However, because a lot of us are business leaders with wacky schedules, consistency can be difficult.
Many of our members prioritize consistency by pre-scheduling repeating hangouts. Monthly double dates, volunteer days with Indy nonprofits, biweekly trips to the Farmer’s Market, dinners after the 4:30 Meetups, game nights, and movies at Flix Brewhouse in Carmel are all ways that various members of Synergize stay connected to their friends.
You can also let us do the work for you – our member-exclusive CommUNITY Meetups are all on a consistent schedule. Grab coffee with a Synergize friend before a CommUNITY Meetup, then attend together for some personal and professional development!
Pro tip: Give yourself permission to make this hangout totally informal. Even though Synergize is a professional group, you don’t need to wear your professional “hat” anytime you’re around other members. Friendship grows best in casual, authentic settings with good people, when we can shrug off the professional labels and just be ourselves.
To cement your friendship, just continue taking care of it! As your first few relationships deepen, you’ll begin to automatically meet more and more people through the friends you’ve already made.
The coolest thing about all this? In a few months, you’ll become a connector! You’ll find yourself telling every new member you meet “You HAVE to meet my friend so-and-so…” And you’ll know that somewhere, the friends you’ve made will be doing the same for you.
P.S. Not a member? Check out the rest of our website (especially this page)!